Who You Chose to Become

The things you did and do to justify your sabatoge, not wanting to maintain, and not wanted to be committed. What a time waster you are but keep escaping your reality and the unknown. You will continue to live in your merry go around of burning fire, your hatred of self. You find yourself gasping because there is no way out of your guilt and regret due to your phobias, attachment, your hatred. This is why the trust was broken and our divine union has fades.

Once again you gave up, you walked away, yet you kept me around. For so long, I believed you, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. But you used the way I felt about you and took advantage of my stick-to-itiveness and my cardinal manner of never thinking of giving up. I couldn’t allow you to mistreat me any longer when you chose not to believe in me or in us. Instead of working to improve, grow, and not regress, you did what you said you weren’t going to do any longer; actually, you became much worse. You chose your same route in quitting, even though we know you lack self-improvement. By being purposely misleading, even though you know I already know the truth, your passive-aggressive energy is why you will carry guilt and the burden of resentment. You chose to remain silent when you could have just talked to me. Weak.

Entirely making this more complicated by walking away and continuing to try to hide the things you have done when you could have chosen the path of transformation and self-improvement. But you don’t want to see your own wrongs; you’re scared to evaluate the things that no one else has done but you. You did them. Why won’t you be accountable for them, you child? Perhaps you don’t want to confront your own wrongs because, as we already know, you’re easily triggered, easily teased, and easily led astray. Go ahead, you’re already far enough along the road of pretending to be someone you’re not. Keep serving the excuses and lies; you’re only maintaining your own dysfunction and chaos. Pretending to change and having such a narrow-minded vision about your denial, disrespect, and abandonment of me. But I see you now; you just had a mask on this whole time, making up stories and using lies to cover up your tracks, especially with your third-party energies or outside interferences. You don’t know boundaries, and you walked all over me.

You want to believe that you didn’t hurt me, holding onto the idea that you didn’t do something so brutally heartless, or thinking that I’m overreacting. OK, stay in your coldness, even though you know I speak nothing but the truth, because you’re so used to taking the easy way out, unable to face your issues and what you’re going through head-on. Don’t you see this makes you a coward? You’re failing to become the bigger person that you and your life need because you choose to vanish without explanation. This is due to your fear of consequences and your spiteful ways. You’ve had to be strategic and cruel with your words because you’re lost. Don’t act like I don’t know you more than anyone. But go ahead and remain unsure instead of listening to me. You have no expectations, which makes you clueless to the way I feel because you think you have options. This has only led you to be so lazy in dealing with me, communicating, and being honest with me. It’s all a joke to you, though, right?

You’ve always tried to manipulate, but this, in reality, created your downward spiral. Never mind us, but you could have saved yourself by telling me that you weren’t ready the many times I asked you face to face. You thought your tactics and options would continue to serve you, and this is why you’re always misleading and deceiving, especially when it comes to connections and close, valuable energies, because you aren’t ready to be loyal and you never will be if you keep running away.

You’re still trying to avoid this when it comes to this denial. Yes, you drained me by being the sponge and parasite that you are. You’ll maintain your levels of fakery by presenting yourself as if you have all your shit together because you have no limits and very dark ways of getting what you and your ego want. Selfish. Yet you continue to surround yourself with those you said you wanted to steer away from because you choose to continue to surround yourself with yes-men, people who only stroke your ego but take from you without giving to you. Can’t you see by now how superficial you’ve become? You will be humbled. I know you’re affected by this, and your insatiable emotions are what make you careless and why you’ve attempted to try and control me, failing to realize that I am anointed.

You know you stabbed me in the back. You know you stabbed me in the back because you were impulsive and greedy, because you chose to give in to your addictions by giving yourself to someone else. You know you stabbed me in the back, but you want to sit there and act as if you’re proud of the choices you have made. Your weakness and giving in to instant gratification have only kept you lost, misguided, insecure, miserable, and vulnerable. You’ve become too attached to the unhealthy energies and habits that you’ve allowed into your space, and I warned you about this. You have become purposeless and still dismiss change and dismiss me. Instead of being logical, you use others as a scapegoat and still want to be the victim. I can’t trust you the way that I used to; can you blame me? I mean, look at my scars, touch my scars, those are forever, at least those are something real that you gave me.

Unfortunately, you’ll defend yourself and your toxic ways until the end. That’s fine, here comes your shame, regret, and humility that you will experience. It will come back and hit you in your chair of rebellion tenfold, even as unemotional as you are. You really fucked up your life, but you may not see it yet in your space where you cope and stay where you prefer to keep things very unreal. No one will be able to make sense of this, yet it won’t stop you from trying to justify or excuse your bad habits or even place blame. This is how you deal with things, but this is exactly how you sabotage things, which never gives you any type of gain and has only and will continue to give you losses of respect.

Eventually, you will realize that your ways of freezing the situation with me by giving your energy away by hooking up with damn near everyone or everything. Your truth will be very harsh, and it will bring balance and justice to the situation. You cannot forget this, the fact that you did me like this so cold & so heartless as if you didn’t even think twice. You opened the door which was an entrance to a room, an entrance to a haunted house that you could never see from outside. Now your down a road where you cannot come back from.

Instead of taking my offer you made another choice and avoided me. I’ve given you so much patience, opportunities, and chances put you chose to go to he’ll. Now your anchored to you pan, ones sessions, addictions, you can continue to fuck the world Claritza keep your legs open because you wanted to be so free, because you wanted to be so single. You dismissed me because you didn’t want to face a reality. You made this final by dismissing me & detaching from me. You broke our divine union, we have a soulful contract that you can’t run away from and you know this but your to scared to face the truths.